“I know at all times that in four hours I will feel completely different,” Tao Lin
when you kill yourself
the universe learns how to console you
nothing i type is true; for example
i am going to go outside
and meet interesting people
actually i will never meet an interesting person
if you ask me what happens to me i will tell you
that after coffee my brain is harder and shinier
my face is less worried and my eyes move faster
if you ask me what happens to sad people i will tell you
that pieces of water move from the inside of their heads to the outside
and then i think the water evaporates
when my brain thinks it makes squishy noises
not all brains are like this
i like to point my worried face at different areas
of the physical world, and this is a mischievous thing
my face is at the front of my head
do you believe i am a good person?
i am going to go away for two hours
when i return i will accurately predict the actions of everyone i know
for the next three weeks, because that’s how i am: industrious,
severely disillusioned
pass me the organic sesame seed salt substitute
industrious people who are severely disillusioned enjoy squishy noises
more than the average person
i laugh at the average person
i don’t know why i do that
i will never squish a human brain with my hands
with both my hands, looking down at the brain inside the skull
i don’t care if that isn’t true
i have bought and sold over three hundred things on ebay
ebay is incredible
three word sentences console me
and this is a dangerous thing
the most dangerous weapon in the universe is the sphere-shaped knife
let me explain about the sphere-shaped knife
the insanity of the sphere-shaped knife
i am going to sleep now
i am going to turn off the light
